Beerswax

Bear Republic - Hop Rod Rye...Motörhead - Orgasmatron

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 23:38:00 +1100

This is another American import that cost me a pound of flesh and then some. Apparently you can get this in the States for 8 bucks a six pack. Hmph. I’m fairly sure this bottle cost me $8. Dear Australian alcohol prices: I hope you die after being shot, stabbed and eviscerated in a dark, filthy alley with a homeless guy pissing on your corpse.

Digression aside… it’s a well known, well regarded America IPA. I’ve had a few of these stalwart American ales, and they all have a few things in common - a fairly hefty alcohol kick (even when the alcohol sees fairly standard at 5 or so % - this one isn’t, but still, the principle is the same - they sneak up on you!), a stunning hop aroma, and a certain taste, distinctive taste. American IPA all the way, that piney, oily, bitter taste that’s so typical of these brews. And I’m a big fan, trust me. The malted rye is strong enough to make an impression, but only just. The hops are what makes this beer shine. As I said, it seems to be very well regarded amongst the brewing fraternities. I’m not blown away with it like those people seem to be, but that’s probably because I’m more used to the Aussie style of hoppy ales. It probably didn’t travel all that well either, as beers just don’t really like being transported thousands of miles, generally. Still, it’s very, very good and I would drink it more, if I didn’t have to auction off my organs to do so. Obviously a gross exaggeration, but if I can get good locally brewed stuff for less, I’ll go for the local stuff every time. Still, I know why it’s a stalwart from the tasting - very dependable American IPA right here.

And speaking of dependable - Motörhead. Critics may say “they’ve not changed their sound one iota since the damn 70s!” Well… (a) Not entirely true (the style hasn’t changed, but the sound definitely has) and (b)…that’s a bad thing? If you’re onto a winning formula, and if it’s an awesome winning formula, why oh why would you fuck with it? The best thing Lemmy Kilmister ever did was get kicked out of Hawkwind for carrying drugs onto a plane, because it started one of the most enduring rock/metal bands in history. There will never be another uncompromising, in your face band like Motörhead who are as successful, or who kick the same amount of arse even now. I mean, Lemmy’s pushing 70 and he’s still going strong. And this album above, 1986’s Orgasmatron, is testament to Lemmy’s ability to pick up the pieces and keep going after it’s all gone to shit. The previous album, Another Perfect Day, had a mismatched guitarist (Brian Robertson of Thin Lizzy fame - a brilliant axeman but definitely not ‘Head material) and a more melodic aesthetic which just didn’t work all that well. Orgasmatron,however, just slayed from the starting gates. With a totally new lineup, they had plenty to prove - and they killed it. In a year where thrash metal was producing some of its finest albums, Motörhead still sounded vicious, raw and hungry. I would have loved to have been old enough to see them play in this era. That being said, I reckon Lemmy will outlive me…

Red Duck Gruiter...Lord Vicar - Fear No Pain

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 23:18:00 +1100

This beer can be put directly into the “what the holy fuck?” category. It goes beyond “WTF”, trust me on this one. I bought this (thankfully, only one!) knowing nothing about the style - apparently it’s ancient, venerable, and nothing like the beers we know of today. On the label it’s billed as a “15th Century Dark Sour Ale”. It fits that bill. It’s dark, it’s sour, and it tastes like it’s been around since the 15th fucking century…

At first, your interest is piqued. There’s no head, of course - being an heirloom style, there’s no carbonation. Okay, fine. The nose is interesting. Actually, the nose is pretty amazing. Herbs of all types, faint honey all over a smell of fermented grapes. But the taste is disappointing at best, and just plain wrong at worst. It’s like a lemon came up and beat the crap out of your tongue with its lemon girlfriend. Honestly, that’s all you can taste - an acidic, sour flavour bomb. And I mean bomb. In less hyperbolic terms, it’s like someone took mead or another type of spiced wine and took whatever’s good out of it, called it beer, and bottled it.

This brewery, known as Red Duck, puts out some real quality brews. It’s also released some absolute shite. This is up there with the shite. Now, I’m being overly harsh - they were probably trying to be faithful to the style, and it does settle down a bit once you get used to the pummeling weirdness of the taste. But all I can say is, if this was the beer they were drinking in the middle ages, it goes some way towards explaining why it’s considered a miserable time in human history.

Now, I had high hopes for this for some reason, so I paired it with one of the finest doom metal albums released in the modern era. Lord Vicar is the band made up ex-members of Reverend Bizarre and Count Raven, and this album is doom metal at its finest. I’ll be the first to admit that it took a while to grow on me (almost three years, to be honest!) but one day, it finally clicked. Guitarist Kimi Karki takes his chops from the ol’ Rev Bizarre and applies them here, creating bludgeoning, mystical, almost droning, repetitive yet astounding riffs that just scream atmosphere and are perfectly backed up by the plaintive, broken old man wail of Christus. This is powerful, melancholic, painful traditional doom metal at its finest. And yes, it took me three years to get into, and I’m still recommending it to you if your tastes run in any way to the slow, the mournful, and the heavy as fuck.

4 Pines Kolsch...Scorpions - In Trance

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 22:40:26 +1100

Kölsch. What the hell is it? If you couldn’t be bothered clicking on the link, it’s a lagery style which is very regional (Cologne, Germany) and it’s brewed to a very exacting standard. It apparently hasn’t stopped foreign breweries trying it out, though, and now it’s Australia’s turn.

As most of you know, lagers and I generally don’t see eye to eye. So this brew has surprised me by being my favourite of the regular 4 Pines output. On the face of it, it’s nothing special - a hoppy (but not overly so), a nice robust mouthfeel (for the style, anyway) and bitterness that is very nicely balanced with a malt backbone. I really like this beer, and it makes me want to try other kölsch-style beers, preferably the actual ones brewed in Cologne as that would give a good idea of how it’s supposed to be brewed. It’s also a real summer drink and is very sessionable in the Australian heat And as my hometown of Melbourne has actually put on a reasonably good summer this year (other people don’t agree. They’re wrong), I’ve enjoyed my fair share of this beer. And at the very least, it’d be a good gateway beer for those who are used to the normal macro fare and want to get into microbrews.

My segue way works! Kind of. In a “gateway heavy metal” kinda way..,When one thinks of Scorpions, one usually thinks: AOR. Hair metal. Poppy hard rock. But the hypothetical one would be wrong, because early in their career, they performed some shit-hot heavy metal (and that’s not even getting into their earlier psych stuff). This album, In Trance, was the one where they developed the sound that would make them squillionaires - anthemic heavy metal. And this album is hellishly good. Riffs, solos, soaring vocals, the ballads don’t suck, and I’ve got the original cover with the girl’s uncensored boob. What’s not to love?! Seriously, if you’ve pigeonholed them into the cheese category, give the albums from this one at least until 1982’s Blackout a try. I predict you’ll be pleasantly surprised. At least get take a long, hard stare at some of their very lurid art work. Just don’t look too hard at the original Virgin Killer artwork. I love the album, but I’m glad that one was changed to the more boring one of them staring awkwardly into the camera (and no, I’m NOT linking to the original. For a damn good reason. What the fuck were they thinking??)

4 Pines Pale Ale... Pagan Altar - The Time Lord

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 22:17:46 +1100

4 Pines brewery popped up out of nowhere down here in Melbourne. Well, it seems that way to me, at any rate (the caveat of course being that I’m violently anti-social and don’t really keep my ear to the ground. The two are related, I promise you). All of a sudden, their beers were everywhere, even in my local grocery store. I was immediately suspicious and thought they were Lion Nathan or the other big mob trying to gain another foothold in the microbrew market. However, according to a source I trust, they were among the first microbreweries in Manly/Sydney/that big glamorous city to the north of us. And when I tried their beers, not knowing anything about them, I was very impressed. I’d actually rate their Kolsch over this pale, but it’s more of a summer drink, whereas for sessionability I like pales because they are suitable (for me) in almost any weather. And this is a really nice example of a pretty faultless, pleasurable pale. It’s perfectly balanced to these tastebuds, just the right amount of hop bitterness to malty flavour at the end, the body is just about right and the finish is dry enough to be satisfying but not so much that it leaves you parched. I’m quite fond of this brew, and by the looks of it, I have to go to the brewery one day to try the stuff that doesn’t make it past the doors.

And here we have one of my very favourite bands, Pagan Altar, with yet another re-release of their previously unreleased, quite poorly produced but still magical, EP The Time Lord. When they first hit the scene, they were probably just a little too weird and sinister and yet melodic for the average heavy metal listener (well, actually, hard rock listener, since this stuff was recorded and being played on stage in the late 70s) to really dig. But they were an enigma, and only years later was their material given a proper release (and a few bootlegs as well) and by then they were old farts who probably couldn’t be arsed dressing up in the robes anymore, and just let the music do the talking. And it’s the sort of stuff I just can’t describe, really - you either love it or you scratch your head and look confused. Especially with the vocals, which I think fit perfectly but others have been heard to complain about their “high-pitched, nasal shittiness”. Suffice to say, those people are wrong.

Pagan Altar’s material’s getting very hard to acquire on vinyl, so whenever I get a change I grab it, and I’m glad I managed to get my greasy hands on this beauty. Most of the songs on this EP were re-recorded on their late-released first album, but I’m quite enamoured with the murkiness of these scratchy recordings when these guys were young lads, no idea of how their music would later inspire many a young doom metal fan.

Forrest Pale Ale...Black Magician - Nature is the Devil's Church

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:56:50 +1100

So here we are, beer drinkers. The final installment of the Forrest beers. Do you recall how I was somewhat disappointed with the beers out of glass as opposed to the keg? Well, this one, sadly, is no exception.

Again, it’s not disagreeable. The aromas in the glass are marvellous - the strong hops and a grassy note that is very appealing. The taste, though, is a let-down - not upfront enough, with the hops not announcing their presence like they should. The body is a little thin, but the finish is quite nice - dry and a little bitter, which is the only thing that gives it a personality. It would actually be a nice session beer, but I already have enough of those. I will keep an eye out on this brewery and see if they can impress me. I hope so because their set up is great and I want them to do well.

Another album off my list of favourites - Black Magician, another fine English doom band. They play very Cathedral-esque doom, the difference being that I like these guys much better than I ever liked Cathedral. Blasphemy, I know. But there’s something about the crushing, bruising riffs, the manic incantations of the lead vocalist, and the little organ flourishes they put over everything that push all my buttons. I haven’t played this one nearly enough and it still made my top albums list. Highly recommended - my favourite track is definitely the Four Thieves Vinegar (the link is to the demo recording as the album version on youtube isn’t working for me for some reason…)

Forrest Stout....Bolt Thrower - In Battle There Is No Law!

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 01:00:00 +1100

(Just a quick one before I go to bed. Yep, that’s what she said…)

Here’s a continuation of the Forrest beers that I picked up on our recent trip down to the Otways. Having liked this from the tap at the brewery, I was very eager to see what it was like out of my own fridge. And yet again, I remember this being much better from the tap. It’s a very nice example of the style, and it ticks the right boxes but doesn’t really scream “I’m a fuckin’ awesome stout!” at you. What is a surprise is the head as you can see above - dear god, that’s a big one. Like I’ve said before, when an Aussie beer pours with a head like that, it’s always a nice change. But the alcohol isn’t enough to really grab you, and the body is just a little too light and tame. It almost feels like a dark ale rather than a stout. Nice flavours of dark roasted malts and even a bitter coffee kind of aftertaste, but not striking enough to really impress me. I’m hoping the pale - which I remember as a rather nice hoppy bitchslap to the taste-buds - will be better.

Dark and filthy - that’s what I was hoping the stout would be. And it’s what this, the debut Bolt Thrower album, In Battle There Is No Law!, is. They’d been kicking around for a few years releasing demos and whatnot, but this is the earliest stuff of theirs I’ve heard. Later efforts would be midpaced, stomping and even epic death metal, but this album is really intense. In the fast and punishing death metal are strains of grind and even crust punk, which makes it a pretty unique little album. Killer early death metal mixed in with some really cool influences that just makes it even more vicious and uncompromising. I’m not a Bolt Thrower fanatic, but I’m impressed that they’ve stayed tried and true through the years and never done anything close to a Morbid Angel about face, and yet not become self-parodying or stale.

And yes, as a side note - Jo Bench, bassist of Bolt Thrower as of their inception in 1986, one of the first women in “extreme” metal. It seems like you can’t mention Bolt Thrower without mentioning her too, so why the hell should I do things any differently? But in all seriousness, she’s a goddamn trailblazer.

Forrest Irish Red...Wishbone Ash - Pilgrimage

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 01:10:02 +1100

What manner of devilry is this? Two updates in the same evening after a more than six month silence? You bet your sweet hairy arse it it.

Mrs Beerswax and I just came back from a short holiday in Apollo Bay, and of course I managed to fit in a trip to a local brewery on the way there. Forrest Brewing Company are a small outfit in the tiny town of, funnily enough, Forrest, but from what I gather they’re doing a healthy trade. They have four beers on offer currently, and are bottling them all, which is a nice change since we last visited when their brewer had broken his arm or something and therefore their production was somewhat curtailed. Anyway, they make a kölsch-style beer which I’ve had before and wasn’t too enamoured by, a pale, a stout, and the Irish red above. I’ll be reviewing the pale and the stout later.

I originally tasted all their beers on tap and they poured rather well. The Irish red was actually my favourite on tap so I bought a couple of bottles of it. However, it isn’t as good as I remembered it, though, or it doesn’t travel well. Or it just tastes better out of a colder tap than the half-pint bottle. Whatever - it’s not a bad brew, just lacks a presence and the good mouth kicking you want in an ale. Hop bite is present and accounted for, but it doesn’t leave much in the end. However, I’d definitely prefer it over a Kilkenny.

WIshbone Ash have always been an interesting group. They seemed to careen wildly through different styles and moods, sometimes within the same album. But one thing they always had were the guitar skills, and the lovely vocal harmonies, even if they weren’t the strongest vocalists. This album was their second, and it’s a quite laid-back affair for the most part - lots of folky and melodic songwriting, some of it almost reminiscent of Simon and Garfunkel, mixed with the occasional more uptempo cut like “Jailbait”. I must admit that my first choices for Wishbone Ash albums are their more famous Argus, and, funnily enough as it was the first of theirs I ever heard, No Smoke Without Fire, which I gather was and is not really liked by a large proportion of the band’s fanbase but I think has some really inspired songs on it (amongst a bit of modern dreck)…anyway, tangent aside, I still think Pilgrimage is, objectively speaking, amongst their best material.

As an aside, the copy I have up there is still sealed (so no, I’ve not played it - I have mp3s. I know, I know…), and appears to have been a promo copy or something. Or a factory bugger-up whereby the name of the album just didn’t print properly. Or, some jackass played an enormous joke and took a defective record sleeve, inserted a Barry Manilow LP in there, and sealed it, chortling like a bad laugh track while he dod so as he thought of the sucker who’d buy this (cheaply, I must say, but still…) and not open it, thinking it was a collectors’ item. No, I’m not cynical at all…

Little Creatures Puffing Billy...Jess and the Ancient Ones

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 20:01:59 +1100

Well, hello there, tumblr. It’s been a while. I won’t say that it’s my New Year’s resolution to actually use this, but I’ve been inspired yet again. Part of the problem was taking photos of beer n’ wax, and then not doing the write-up. So, I’m wiping the slate clean in 2013. Oh god that was not meant to rhyme. How pathetic…

So as I said, it’s been a while, so let’s not waste any more time. Loyal readers and profligate beer drinkers/drunks/people like me will recall Little Creatures’ from Western Australia and their one-off brews. This one is an attempt at a smoked bock. I do like smoked beers, and that’s the problem with this one - not enough smoke. They’ve done well with the bock stylings, as it’s got that dark lagery (not LAGERARSEy) taste and feel, but the biggest kick is in the alcohol, and the nose is nothing to write home about. I’ve found these limited edition brews to be a hit-and-miss affair, and this one isn’t exactly a miss, but I’m definitely not sorry that they’re not brewing any more of it.

And behind it, we have one of my favourite albums of 2012 - FInland’s Jess and the Ancient Ones. This septet had been on my radar for a little while but I didn’t really have high hopes, but for some reason I went ahead and ordered their album unheard. And I’m glad I did. There’s been an occult rock revival of sorts for a few years now, but this band do it the best in my opinion. True musicianship that harks back to the 70s without being a mere copy, weird lyrical themes, atmospheric and engaging yet somehow unsettling soundscapes, and an enigmatic, brilliant frontwoman. Definitely one to hear on vinyl if you can, as it sounds like they’ve put real effort into choosing their equipment and getting the best possible sound out of it, not to mention some really inspired songwriting.

Hope I’ll be back sooner rather than later, folks!

Holgate Pilsener...Various Artists - If It Ain't A Hit...

Tue, 01 May 2012 16:09:05 +1000

Thanks to dantoniodanchez and wilcolonial for the comments - really appreciate them! It makes me want to update more, so I’m grateful. I can’t figure out how the hell to comment back on this godforsaken site, so here’s my appreciation in the form of another post (within a day. Miracle! )

The Holgate Brewery produces some very nice beer. In this blog’s previous incarnation I reviewed a chocolate porter, a hoppy-as-hell double IPA, and various others that impressed me. I will revisit those one of these days and re-document them - they were that good. This one, however, is a pilsener, and as faithful readers know, pilseners and I don’t have the best relationship. So it was with trepidation that I poured this one…and found it to be very, very nice. Now bear in mind, this was drunk in summer (again, this is done from notes) (and again, you Northern Hemispherian bastards, we’re in the colder months down here in Oz. Yes, I hate you all for your warm weather), and it informed my enjoyment of it. The aromas were strong with Saaz hops and yes, I could also detect some enticing citrus whiffs. And the taste was clean and crisp like you’d expect a pilsener to be, but not as dry and grassy as normal, but with some very nice sweetness underlying the whole thing that gave it a really nice finish. And indeed, according to these snobby bastards, this is not a true pilsener due to that sweetness. Thing is, I don’t care if it is or not - I found a beer labelled as a pilsener that I actually really like, therefore, fuck the lot of the beer critics… I’ll be stocking up on these for the summer.

I’m what you would call an amateur blues afficionado. As a guitarist who’s self taught, the blues were indispensable to me in learning how to play, and there’s something elegantly beautiful about a 12-bar standard, and something that a lot of musicians just don’t understand, even with all their technique and mastery of their instruments. Like George Carlin once said - it’s the notes you don’t play that make the blues…anyway, there’s a really old-school record store in my area that sells all sorts of old vinyl compilations and original pressings of bluegrass, country, jazz, soul, and pre- and post-war blues. Walking into this store is seriously like travelling back through time - the grizzled ancient blokes behind the counter with smokes and open beers at 10 am still have duck wave haircuts (and no, they’re not being ironic hipsters. They are the real deal) and talking about gigs from the 60s that they got smashed at…it’s actually quite intimidating a lot of the time. But their range is phenomenal, and I every now and then I slink in there, sheepishly buy something (almost blindly, as my knowledge of the blues is much more sketchy than my knowledge of metal) and leave. I picked the above compilation up a while back and as the label on the tin says, we’re talking dirty, nasty blues - by artists who have by and large been forgotten (or who were never really household names like BB King or John Lee Hooker in the first place) who were usually a lot more mainstream in their output - but who would every now and then record something that was much more risque. Indeed, recording something like this back in the 20s and the 30s - especially if you were black - must have been a bit of a dangerous affair, and I applaud them for having the guts. Or the, ahem, balls. Titles include charmers such as “Don’t Fuck Around With Love” by The Blenders, “Big Ten Inch” by Bullmoose Jackson, “The Rotten Cocksuckers’ Ball” by The Clovers….yeah, even now it’s enough to raise an eyebrow. Good dirty fun on a 12 inch. SEE WHAT I DID THERE…. (Full title of the compilation is “If It Ain’t a Hit, I’ll Eat My….Baby!”)

Mountain Goat Surefoot Stout...Black Sabbath - Heaven and Hell

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:26:00 +1000

(I’m thinking of moving this blog, or at least mirroring it elsewhere. I’m not really sure that tumblr is the right platform for it. Too much distraction, which means whenever I log onto it I spend hours looking at freaking rage comics and metal blogs rather than updating the damned thing. Anyway, onwards)

So, Mountain Goat. I’m a complete fanboy for these guys. There’s something about the hop-driven goodness they create that just makes me remember why I love beer so much. I’m a huge fan of these limited runs they do, and not only for their weirder experimental brews, but also the stalwarts. This stout is one of them, and you know what you’re going to get before you even pop the seal, even if it’s not for the famous hops. It isn’t as…well, stouty as some. Mouthfeel sure isn’t heavy as you expect it to be, but on all other fronts it ticks the boxes. That being said, I’m probably not the best judge on mouthfeel as I’m only just starting to understand its intricacies. As far as the roasted coffee, faint chocolate and slightly sweet finish go, they’re all present and accounted for and make this a pretty good example of an Aussie stout brewed for easy drinking. I have memories of having this at the Goat brewery after running through all their selections on offer…to say that the memories are hazy would be a bit of an understatement. But it’s definitely better in these longnecks.

And I know it’s an obvious ploy to pair this up with a Black Sabbath vinyl, but bugger it, it’s being done anyway. This was the first album without Ozzy, and it was about time too - their previous two albums had been, to put it kindly, stale. It probably wasn’t all Ozzy’s fault, but with the presence of the impressive-as-hell pipes of Ronnie James Dio (R.I.P.), it gave Iommi some new territories to explore riff-wise, and they moved away from their doomy sound to a more driving heavy metal sound with power metal flourishes. Yes, power metal, but not that flowery shit that gets touted as “power” these days. Forgetting about trying to pigeonhole this into a genre, it’s just a great heavy metal album which, while it might not be my favourite Sabbath album, clearly rejuvenated a tired band and set them up for the next decade at least. At the time it was hated by a large proportion of their fans because it was clearly different, but time has proved this to be a classic.

Hawthorn Brewing Co. Witbier...Bitch - Be My Slave

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 06:30:00 +1100

(sorry again for the delay - maybe I should do short and sweet henceforth)

I like this brewery’s stuff, generally speaking. They do a very nice pale ale and a serviceable amber ale - in fact, I remember drinking that pale to almost exclusion a couple of summers ago. But this witbier is, plainly speaking, fucking rank. Now, yes, I’m not all that big a fan of the style. But this is probably one of the worst microbrews I’ve ever had. So what did I get? All those nasty aromas I associate with macro lagers, a thin as hell body with an accompanying soapy, grainy taste and one of the worst LAGERARSE finishes I’ve ever had (yeah, and it’s not even a goddamn lager). Big thumbs down. I hate to give a bad rap to a local outfit but seriously, how the hell this passed muster is a mystery to me.

And here’s a little early 80s heavy metal gem, from an LA (where else?) band called Bitch, who were best known for their frontwoman Betsy “Bitch” Weiss who did the whole dominatrix getup onstage and was probably the cause of many a post-show fap by horny teens. But by god she had a voice to back up the image - rough, powerful, and utterly alluring. No, she wasn’t the best female metal singer but she’s up there in the top for me simply because it fit the music so damn well, which was dirty, sleazy, rip-roaring heavy metal to the bone. The guitar sound on this album is a personal favourite of mine - grimier than your average fare coming out of LA at the time, and rough as guts. This is a reissue which the label’s taken great pains to make look exactly like the first pressing, down to the back info, and it’s a great one to spin while drinking.

Cavalier Brown...Manilla Road - Playground of the Damned

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 04:59:00 +1100

(I have been without the internet at home. It has made me very irritated. Hopefully this will be updated more regularly when the bloody thing finally comes back)

This’ll be a short one, because a) I had this one a while ago and am writing this based on old notes, b) I’m not really that familiar with the style they were going for (American Brown Ale); and c) while it was pretty decent, it wasn’t anything that lit a fire under my bum. This brewery has only recently come up on my radar, and I applaud their ethos. There is definitely a need for more like them. As you can see, they appear to do these brews in smallish batches (yes, the stats on tha label are hand-written). It poured with a massive head as you can see from the shot, which is a really nice change compared the the average Aussie brew, which usually gives up the ghost after a minute or two. Aromas were very bready and malty, and the taste was similar. As I understand, hops are generally welcome in this brew but my hop-meter didn’t detect nearly enough. Then again, I love the hop, so maybe my judgement is a bit biased. Regardless of the abscence of the bitter flower, it was a nice, fairly sweet malty brew that would go down a treat in winter.

And yes, you get Manilla Road again. This is their 2011 album, and as usual, with Mark “the Shark” Shelton’s vision, you get the haphazard-yet-true-as-fuck production, his epic themes, his bludgeoning riffs and his nasal voice that shreds posers from here to Eschaton. I have yet to be disappointed by any Manilla Road album, but this one was a bit of a let-down compared to their untouchable classics from the 80s, or even their 2008 killer Voyager. Then again, it still made it into my top album list, which tells you that even at their most disappointing, Manilla Road still tears the shit out of most bands’ best.

Feral White...Original Sin - Sin Will Find You Out

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:29:00 +1100

(apologies for the absence…no, of course I have not given up beer)

The Feral Brewing Company is probably the worst brewery I’ve ever visited. The beer is good, don’t get me wrong. The place, though, was just rank. Maybe it was the stupidly hot day. Maybe it was the cashed-up bogans who were there in their platformed-heeled, loud-mouthed multitide (it was a Saturday, and there were Hens’ parties. HENS’ PARTIES….YES MORE THAN ONE). Maybe it was the fact that I forked over the equivalent of my newborn child in payment for a couple of cheesy squares that wouldn’t have fed a mouse. As I said though, while the place rubbed me the wrong way, their beer is more than adequate. I have waxed lyrical over their Hop Hog IPA in the past, and now it’s time for their witbier.

As I’m not that fond of the style, it obviously doesn’t tick all my boxes. But as far as Aussie-brewed wits go, this one isn’t bad. Nice citrusy aromas, fairly typical witbier flavours with few of the faults that seem to plague many of the Aussie interpretations of the style that I’ve tried (I have a doozy of a review for you coming up. Oh boy….). Nice crisp taste with a spiced flavour that’s actually a bit too subdued, but it makes up for it by having a finish that’s quite pleasant. Again, this will never be my favourite style but I don’t mind this brewery’s version.

Original Sin were a one-off band comprised solely of individuals who happened to have two X chromosomes each (well, I’m assuming they did, but I haven’t actually done a genetic test…I’m going to stop being silly/covering my butt now) but, unlike too many of the female-fronted bands of today, kicked solid amounts of arse. Speed metal with early power metal flourishes, material written by the guys from Virgin Steele (which explains a lot of the awesome), and utterly vicious in its approach. Rough, uncompromising and fast as hell, but it never gets boring as these “bitches from hell” (their words, not mine) just bludgeon your poser arse from start to finish…well, okay, there are a couple of throwaway interlude tracks, but they’re more than made up for by monstrous cuts like “Bitches from Hell”, “Pandora’s Box” and “Enchantress of Death”. This is one 80s album that took the word “ballad” and laughed at it and then stomped it into the ground where it belonged. If only this hadn’t been a one-off album by this band…then again, maybe it’s good that, unlike many of their contemporaries, they quit while they were ahead.

Stone & Wood - Stone Beer...Sigh - Infidel Art

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 07:25:23 +1100

I’ll admit that I haven’t been into this craft beer drinking-n’-wanky-reviewing jobby for very long; the calibre of my “reviews” should tell you that. I’m not one of those people who can detect the scent of grapefruit and vestal virgins in a beer, nor can I taste liquefied rainbows and unicorns. However, I did think I knew the mechanics of the brewing process fairly comprehensively, how it’s generally quite simple, and that there wasn’t all that much room for “innovation”. Turns out I am continually surprised, not necessarily by innovation, but by the dragging out of old brewing techniques to add something special to the beer, or, if I’m being cynical, to add marketability. The latest surprise was from the brewery I formerly maligned, Stone & Wood, and this, a take on a (yet another) variety of brew which I had never heard of - the Munich Dunkel Lager. The different technique? The ancient method of using superheated stones to boil the wort, which for obvious reasons is not a widespread practise anymore, but can apparently lend some very unique flavours to a brew.

I’ll be honest here - this is the beer that started my re-evaluation of this brewery. I was very pleasantly surprised - I wish they’d brew this more often (it’s a yearly thing), although I can understand why it’s only limited batches as superheating those stones must in itself be a mammoth pain in the arse. But it produces a quite interesting brew in this case. A lovely dark ruby hue, a very savoury aroma in which even I can smell toasted malts with the usual strong hops, and that slightly roasted, smoky flavour which I associate with beers brewed in old fashion (rauchbier is another one that comes to mind). As you’d expect, the malt flavours dominate over the hops but the latter do come through at the end with a nice bitter (but not overly so) finish. I was impressed, and I plan to get a few more of these before this year’s brew is finally sold out. I still don’t know if it’s worth all the effort on the brewer’s part, but I do look forward to trying the different iterations of this brew in the future.

Sigh are one of the most intruiging bands Japan has ever produced. And if you know your Japanese metal, that’s a big call, but I’m making it anyway. Starting out in the early 90s as European-inspired black metal but with some very Japanese flourishes, they have progressed musically on pretty much every major release. This, a limited edition reissue of their second album Infidel Art, is strange and ethereal even today - black metal with symphonic elements thrown in seemingly haphazardly (not symphonic black metal ala Dimmu Borgir or similar cruddy extreme metal acts), with complex keyboards played effectively over dirty guitar riffing and tortured screams and screeching black metal vocals. It sounds like a mess, and it could have very easily turned out that way, but through some inspired, original songwriting and atmospherics they more than pulled it off - they created a masterpiece. This is up there with my favourite Sigh release, and Sigh remain one of the few black metal acts I like who are more innovative. I generally like my second-wave black metal raw and primitive (like early Mayhem), and I have very little time for modern examples of the style. Sigh are the exception, as they seem to understand what black metal is all about without being stale - a very hard thing to pull off.

The link with the beer? I suppose I could grasp at straws and say it’s like innovation come full circle or some such shit - but I just thought the colour schemes went together…

Stone & Wood Pacific Ale...Atlantean Kodex - The Pnakotic Vinyls

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:26:00 +1100

So, I said I’d re-review this beer from the days of my old Facebook photos, and I see no better time than now, a couple of days into the new year.

I did rip their lager a new one, but upon having this very Aussie version of an American pale both on tap and this new bottle, I’m finally a fan. This is the quintessential hot weather drink - it goes down so smoothly when you’re hot and bothered, and has great sessionability but, again, in the right season. When I first had this, it was winter, it was freezing, and the lack of body and the fairly minimal finish made it highly unappealing. However, right now, the amazing floral, almost tropical aromas followed by enough of a hop bite upfront to keep one interested, lack of grainy taste and that minimal finish makes it absolutely perfect for slamming down in the sun. As someone who doesn’t really like pilseners, I lack a good summer beer, and this is the one. So I apologise, Stone & Wood, for originally doubting this beer. I still don’t like your lager, though.

Again, I’ll pair it with the original vinyl I had it with, although again it doesn’t match, but for a different reason. Atlantean Kodex are an epic metal band from Germany, thus they probably require a strong ale or a Bavarian wheat beer or a pils of some kind. Anyway, they are up there on my list of favourite bands of all time. Calling to mind early Manowar, with viking-era Bathory, and a Manilla Road-esqe sense of grandeur and an obvious, obsessive love for homeland and lore, the absolute passion they display on their recordings is second to none. Beautiful, barbaric, melodic and, that word again, passionate heavy metal. When I listen to their stuff, shivers run down my spine. This double vinyl is their demos repackaged and put onto wax like it should be. I’ve annoyed many a neighbour with this band, and I will continue to do so…

Stone & Wood Lager...Rolling Stones - Goats Head Soup

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:12:00 +1100

Yes, dear readers, another lager. Why do I do this to myself? Because I love all of you and want to be the voice of informative reason and….nah, fuck that, I just like whingeing.

So, I’ve had mixed responses to this brewery in the past. I originally hated their Pacific Ale, but I’ll do a re-review soon, because I’ve actually grown to like it, and drinking it in summer makes me comprehend what they were trying to do much better. But this is a review for their lager, and as much as I want to like it, I can’t. It’s not horrid, but it has all the usual hallmarks of adjunct-style lagers with a few hops added in there to try and mask the nasty. And it doesn’t work. Stale grain and odd bitterness at the end make for a middling drink. Avoid. They can (and do) do much better than this.

I’ll come out and say it - I prefer the Rolling Stones to the Beatles. I always have. I know that their backgrounds compared to their respective musical styles/images are a bit mixed up (i.e. the [originally] clean-cut Beatles were actually Liverpudlian thugs and the Stones were twats from art school) but the Stones, for me, were always harder edged and more interesting. And in terms of longevity, well, this album was released in ‘73, and the Beatles were, well, dead by this time. Let It Be, fuckers. And any bloke who can be clinically dead like Keith Richards and still be SOMEHOW WALKING deserves kudos. Anyway, digression aside, this album was laid-back, but quite dark and in some places raucous and hellish, like a lot of their catalogue. Famous for the single “Angie”, I like it for the infamous “Star Star”, or “Starfucker”, as it was called and should have remained so. A very cool album which was bagged by that shithead Lester Bangs but which deserves its place alongside their classics.

Burleigh - Hef...Jex Thoth - self-titled

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 16:47:00 +1100

Updating this at work is, i imagine, probably not the wisest thing to do. But oh well. It beats doing actual work. Only problem is, now I’m craving beer.

Anyway, I’m not a great authority on hefeweizens. I’ve never been entirely won over by the style, but I am beginning to appreciate them more than I used to. Obviously, the summer weather helps this, as drinking beer that’s reminiscent of banana and citrus in the cold is never that fun. Regardless, I’ve rarely come across an Aussie version that I think has truly captured the style. This one comes close though. Burleigh continues to confuse me with their mix of great to good to middling to what the fuck, and this one is probably in between the good and great categories. From my notes, its aroma was no great shakes, but the taste was refreshing, banana and clove flavours throughoutfinished up with the refreshing citrus that is characteristic of this brew. Again, not the kind of beer I’ll make a habit of but definitely one of the better Australian interpretations. I’m not sold by the marketing though - and I’m pretty sure the man himself would be more than a little confused by the porn moustache. Actually, what am I talking about - he’d probably love it. He’d even dress it up in a little smoking jacket…

Anyway, the album behind it is another of those retro-doom-reloaded outfits, Jex Thoth. Like Blood Ceremony, another female-fronted doom band, but as much as I love Blood Ceremony, Jex Thoth blows that band out of the water in many ways. True occult-laden 70s-style proto-doom stylings with meandering, melancholy passages, psychadelic arrangements, and Jex Thoth herself, who has to be one of the most charismatic frontwomen ever. Her silky, beautiful yet menacing voice just make this record, and apparently her stage presence is even better. Not that I’ve ever had the good luck to see them live. And unless airfares get remarkably lower in price, I’m unlikely to. Digression aside, this is very worth picking up if you like your doom occult, melodic and melancholic.

James Squire - Four Wives Pilsener...Alice Cooper - Trash

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 01:52:00 +1100

For easy-drinking session beers, you could do a lot worse than the beers from Malt Shovel Brewery. They’re generally flavoursome enough that they satisfy, so long as your palate isn’t wanting a particularly orgasmic tastebud experience. I’ve had many a Golden Ale (pale) or an Amber Ale on a warm day and been happy downing a few in a session. However, as is no secret, I hold a healthy suspicion of most Aussie-brewed lagers, and stay away from them. This pilsener doesn’t exactly make me want to convert, either. It’s by no means the worst of its kind - LAGERARSE is very minimal, hops are good and present, but apart from that, it lacks in character. Again, on a hot day, I’d have no problem imbibing a few of these in a row, but it’s just not the sort of beer that grabs me.

And you know what? Again, the theme fits. This Alice Cooper album was actually the first I ever heard, long before I’d heard of “School’s Out” and the other cool horror-themed rock Cooper released in the 70s. This, his 18th album, is pure late 80s hard rock - which isn’t altogether a bad thing. Every track was written to a simple formula, and the formula’s pretty effective - cool but simple riffs, incredibly catchy vocal melodies and hooks, and sexual innuendo up the wazoo. Of course it’s effective - most of the great rock/metal songs are written this way, so why fuck with a winning strategy? That being said, though, I’ve heard much better formulaic 80s hard rock, and as much as this album is lauded, I only find myself playing it every now and then. Good bread-and-butter headbanging material but nothing overly remarkable. Good starting point for delving into a fascinating musical career, though. And thus, we come full circle…pilseners and lagers were the gateway beers for me before finding my true loves: Ale ale ale ale….

Coopers - Premium Lager...Judas Priest - British Steel

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 22:57:00 +1100

Coopers was the brewery that opened my eyes to the possibility of better beer. Growing up drinking the normal macro fare, when I had my first Coopers Red it was an amazing revelation. The Red and the Pale Ale still reign as among my first choices for session beers, even though my taste has largely moved on to bigger and hoppier things. I will always feel everlasting gratitude to this brewery for its role in making me hate Caaaarldon, making me realise that life is too short to drink crap beer, no matter how cheap it is. However, this brewery has done some horrible things, such as Coopers Clear, and some middling things, like this lager.

It’s better than your average macro pale lager, don’t get me wrong. On tap, this is actually quite drinkable, probably because it’s served ice cold. However, at fridge temperature, the more unsavoury flavours come out and does it no favours. On the whole it’s a fairly inoffensive Euro-style pale lager, but it’s got the typical stale malt notes, that grassy aroma that I find a little unappealing, and very little that’s memorable except for the faint, ever-present LAGERARSE. These sorts of lagers have to be drunk Aussie style to be palatable - near freezing, on a hot day with a shitload of dead charcoaled meat. Otherwise, it’s pretty bland.

Which brings me to this Judas Priest album. I think Judas Priest is one of the greatest heavy metal bands of all time. They have a legacy that is unquestionable. However, they also have some very iffy moments. This is not exactly one of those iffy moments, but it definitely led them straight to Ifsville. This was where the more commercial elements they’d introduced in the previous album, Killing Machine/Hell Bent for Leather (name depending on if you’re the rest of the world versus America), really came to fruition. While those commercial elements worked quite well for the latter album, they fall flat on this one. There are a couple of their signature razor-shard speed metal tracks mixed with mainstream rubbish. They basically made an even-more accessible version of Killing Machine, and of course, every chump loved it, and people still say it’s their best. Which is complete bollocks: that honour goes to either the 70s masterpiece Sad Wings of Destiny, their 80s comeback Screaming for Vengeance or the utterly insane (if terribly overproduced) speed metal monster of Painkiller. British Steel is the first Priest album I ever owned/heard, and I still spin it occasionally because it’s a fun listen, but it’s in no way their best, and in fact led to the crime that was Point of Entry. Just as the lager above led to the abysmal horror that is Coopers Clear and Coopers 62 Degrees. I have spoken.

Big Pig Beers- Pig's Arse...Lou Reed - Transformer

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:06:00 +1100

Pig’s arse is a great little term. As far as I am aware, it’s purely Aussie, much like “ranga”. If it was not at least coined by John Elliott, he has definitely made it his catchcry. I myself have used it, infrequently, but to great effect. Like, in response to ”some modern metal is awesome”. Or “Tony Abbott has some good points”. Or “Christmas is a beeeauuuuutiful time of year and you’re just a big grumpy sourpuss”….You get the idea. Anyway, there could not be a more inappropriately-named beer than this one. It’s not bad enough to be referred to in the negative sense when asked the question “would you drink this beer in a pink fit?”, nor is it meaty and delicious like a real pig’s arse. I feel bad being indifferent about it, because it’s brewed by a great little pub called the Pig & Whistle on the Mornington Peninsula in Victoria, which is one of my favourite places on Earth, and because their other beers, in particular a lovely brown ale, are quite good. But unfortunately they don’t bottle them - just this pils.

So what’s it like? Well. Lagery. Not particularly inspiring, but better than your average lager. Certainly not up to the standards of great German or Czech pilseners. It’s just….there. Like this beer in general, on a warm day it would go down easier than water. It does have enough of a flavour to keep one mildly interested, and minimal LAGERARSE. But, like most lager-style beers I drink, it just doesn’t gel with me. Now if they started bottling the brown ale, I’d be happier than a pig in the proverbial.

And…Lou Reed. What can I say? The man who now is (rightly) ridiculed for the utterly abysmal album he did with Metallica this year, not to mention his general descent into medicority, was once a fucking tour de force of musical ideas, ambition and influence. His stuff with the Velvet Underground is obviously above all criticism (yes, I said it, damn you) and a large body of his solo work is impressive too. The man personified early glam and proto-punk. Transformer, possibly his best known solo effort, is also one of his best, as far as I’m concerned. It of course contains the well known “Walk on the Wild Side” and “Perrfect Day”, but the sneer of “Vicious” just slays, and the nasty cheek of “New York Conversation” makes me chuckle every time. The whole album is eclectic and weird, even today, and for that I love it and will forgive Reed for Lulu. Maybe.